We've been asked some questions since bringing Little L home, and I thought I would cover those that have been asked the most frequently. If you have any others, I'd love to read them in the comments!
Q : How do you say his name?
A : Ephraim is pronounced "ef-ruhm"
Q : How did you come up with his name, Ephraim Jacob? / Did you name him?
A : Yes, we named him. I first heard the name Ephram in the show Everwood which I watched in High School (I know, kind of lame). The name is also in the Bible (spelled Ephraim and often pronounced differently), and means "fruitful." I've loved it for many years, and we are so excited to finally get to use it! Colin came up with the middle name of Jacob to go along with it.
We did decide on a nickname a while ago to use alongside Ephraim and in case he hates having a "different" name someday, which is E.J.
Q : What is his nationality?
A : Little L's nationality is American (he was born in Buffalo). But I know that the question everyone means to ask is, what is his ethnic/racial background? He is bi-racial, half Caucasian and half African American.
Q : What do you know about his parents?
A : Everything actually because that's us! As for his birth parents, we have minimal information as everything happened very fast with his case (less than 24 hours!). The information that we do have, we are limiting our sharing of because even though we are very open and love to talk about adoption, we realize that this information is a part of Ephraim's story, not ours. We will share with him all the details that we have as he grows and his adoption will also be known to him, but it will ultimately be his choice whether or not, and what, he shares with people about his birth family and background.
Q : Did you meet his birth mom?
A : No. Unfortunately per her the adoption is closed at this time. This is where most people say that it's better that way, and I wholeheartedly disagree. We are open to an open adoption, open to the point of having contact and visits every year with birth families. This does not mean that we would be co-parenting or "sharing" him. He is not an object which we have won. He is a child who should have the opportunity to know his biological parents. When you are educated on the positive impact this has especially on the children involved in the adoption triad (child, birth parents, and adoptive parents), it is extremely disappointing when you are not able to have that relationship. We loved meeting the potential birth mom from our first match. And we would love to have that connection for Ephraim, so that he could know his roots, ask questions that we don't have answers to (and there are many), and physically see and understand the love that everyone has for him. At this time, we send pictures and letters to the agency, and we are praying that someday a relationship can be formed and the adoption opened.
Q : Isn't there a time period where the birth parents can decide to parent even after making an adoption plan?
A : Yes, in New York State birth parents can change their minds within 30 days of when the paperwork was signed/placement happened. For us, that was on October 16th, and we are past that 30 day period. All that is left are completing our three post-placement visits with our social worker (we've had one so far), and then finalization which happens at court and with our attorney. This usually takes up to a year because the courts are slow, but we aren't worried as it's a formality. We will get his social security number and birth certificate at that time, but he's already a permanent, real part of our family and we don't need the courts to tell us that :)
We are over-the-moon in love with our little guy as are our families and friends. We feel extremely blessed to be given the opportunity to raise him. People often say that a child who has been adopted is lucky, but we are truly the lucky ones. It's also not lost on me that our adoption fundraiser puzzle was completed the day Ephraim was born, and that his birth and placement was almost exactly a year after our first match (he was born 10/14/14, she was born 10/17/13). God works in mysterious ways!