Happy 1st birthday, my precious boy!

One.  I can't believe that you are already 1.  I always knew the time would fly by when everyone said so, but I never knew how fast.  I've spent a lot of time reflecting as your birthday draws close, and my heart is full of so many emotions.  And as we all know, I've royally neglected this blog while learning how to balance our new life as a family of 3.  But even though I might not be able to get down all of the thoughts that I've been mulling over, I wanted to make sure to do this day its justice, not only for you, but for J as well.

You see, your birthday is not about the day that we became parents.  It's about you and your birth mommy.  Because when you came into the world one year ago today on October 14th at 6:43pm, we had absolutely no idea.  Daddy was just getting home from work and I was out with my family at an alumni fundraiser basketball game watching my dad play.  I sat there, composing a very different one year blog post in my head, one in which I would write to the little girl who was our first match, and who was about to turn 1.  

I had no idea that on this night one year ago, the world would change forever for a woman who I didn't know but who would become a part of my heart and thoughts.  She gave birth to you, a precious, tiny 5 lb 7 oz baby boy.  And while sometimes it makes me sad that I wasn't there, I also feel that it was a sacred time that I do not want to disrupt.  Because while I've never given birth, I can only imagine the wealth of overwhelming emotion and pain, especially when an adoption plan is involved.

And so, while I watched your grandpa play basketball, with a heart that still ached and longed to be a mommy, while daddy wound down after a day at work with a hundred kids, none of which would come home with him, J bravely and selflessly delivered you into this world.  Your story outside of the womb on this earth began.  And it's okay that we didn't know it yet.  Because this is all part of your story, and this day is reserved for you to celebrate the incredible love that J has for you.  The bond that she forged with you for 9 months, culminating in your birth.  And while we pray that this isn't the end of your story with her, for now we have to celebrate without her.  And so, this day we celebrate you and we honor the woman who gave you life and taught you the great depths of a mommy's love.  Today is your day, together.

Tonight, we will light a candle at 6:43pm for J, your birth mommy, to symbolize our love, thoughts, and prayers for her and to include her in our celebration.  Happy birthday, sweet one.  We love you, so very much!