10th puzzle update!

Special thanks to:

Leslie

#4 April date

Date #4 was heading out to the original Jitter's near our college campus.  We aren't out that way often, but they have the best breakfast sandwiches and chai that I've ever had.  I made sure the gift card was the perfect amount and we enjoyed our sandwiches, Col a milkshake, and I a chai smoothie.  Delish!

"I'd be...warm if I was in L.A. California dreamin' on such a winter's day..."

Guess what?!  We're finally doing it!  We are going to L.A. to visit my brother!!  I am STOKED!  I've wanted to visit him for a long time now because I've never been to California and he's lived there for a while.  But the flight costs to get there always deterred us.  After our failed matches and our longer-than-anticipated adoption process, I need an adventure.  I'm one of those people who whenever I see a plane or am in an airport I just want to GO somewhere!  I love to travel and see new places, and sometimes I feel stuck if we haven't done something in a long time.  Added to the fact that he is looking to move, I felt like time was getting away from us for this opportunity.  And so, my urge to get away has grown and grown until I finally made up my mind that we were going to do this!  We have overpaid each month on my car loan, so right now we don't have any payments technically due for a couple years.  And even though we only have two more over-payments to pay it off, which I'm excited to do, right now for our sanity we are going to use those two payments to pay for our plane tickets.  I can't believe it's actually happening!

And it's a new state for me!  Whenever I've been to a new state, I color it in on a map that I have, and I would love to get them all someday.  I haven't gotten to add to it in years, so here. we. go!  Let the countdown begin over these next two months!

in the thick of it

Friends it's time for an adoption update.  Because I'm struggling, and I need to write.  So no, unfortunately this will not be a happy update.

We had another profiling opportunity this month, and it was a twin case.  I was SO excited!  My mom always joked with us that we would get twins.  And I was thinking how maybe then we could go through this process once and be done.  Which is quite appealing right now (and financially much more do-able).  We once again tried not to get our hopes up, but honestly every single day the opportunity was on my mind and it's hard not to picture.  These last two weeks felt like an eternity as we waited to hear.  We got the call today that we were not chosen.

This coming after receiving a letter in the mail yesterday about our home study expiring in 90 days.  I knew it was coming, but since we don't expire until the end of July, I figured I had some time before freaking out (and was trying not to think about it yet so that said freak out wouldn't ensue earlier than necessary).  What I didn't realize is that we have to re-do everything, not just the social worker's visit, but our doctor's visits, etc.  We had already gotten a few things in the mail and updated them, so I assumed all the paperwork would be done that way, and then we could just worry about the home study in July.  I forgot that home study also means the paperwork.  And so, in order to have enough time to do it all so that we don't have a lapse, we need to start now.  Not only that but before we can be sent the paperwork to be done, we have to pay the home study renewal fee of $950.  And we have to renew our enrollment in the program, which is an annual fee of $600.  We are still trying to save enough money for if and when a placement occurs.

And so last night found me in a bad mood.  Wanting to give up.  Wishing things were different.  Missing babies who we got to name and for a few days got to rejoice in soon being home with us.  Wondering why with our open grids we still haven't had a placement.  Very much regretting that our home study social worker told us it would be quick (because even when you take comments like that with a grain of salt, you can't help but believe that the professional opinion is true).  Wondering why opening up to out of state has done nothing.  And once again stressing about finances and wishing that money, which shouldn't be an issue in finding homes for kids, wasn't a part of it.

Friends and family are having babies, enjoying time with mommy friends, and I feel like we are sitting on the sidelines not moving forward as those babies grow into toddlers and new babies come on the scene.  Who will our babies grow up with?  And I hate questioning our all-knowing, loving God, but I can't help but wonder why.  I hate feeling this way, my frustration taking over the hope that I had.  Deep down I know the process works, I've talked with and seen those families.  I know it's all in God's timing, that His will and plan are perfect, that we are young, that our families will help us with expenses, that everything happens for a reason.  But even so, I struggle.  And those who have been here know just how much of a struggle it is.  And for me, going through the adoption process also brings up all those wonderful emotions surrounding infertility too. 

Thank God we are doing this in His strength, because this girl's strength is fading fast.  Please pray for us as we find the fortitude to write the check, re-do doctor's appointments, paperwork, and later in July, social worker's visits.  And for our wait, oh the wait.  Thank you, we love and appreciate you all, without God and our support system we would be nothing.

As for you, Little L, may you come into our lives soon.  We are praying for you.

hubby's birthday present

3 year anniversary!

Today marks three years of marriage for us!  This year included:

-starting the adoption process ~ and a whole lot of ups and downs, including being matched twice and having both matches fall through
-a promotion into a new position at work for me
-paying off all my student loans

We always give gifts according to the traditional items, so this year was leather.  I told Col that we had it easy because of our last name and could go off of that, and yet neither of us did!  Col gave me a pad-folio so I can be cool and professional at work and a pretty leather bookmark that says "LOVE."  He gave it to me because he was sick of seeing my books laying open or marked off with random scraps of paper ;) I gave him a catch-all for atop his dresser, because I was sick of seeing the cardboard Dentyne Fire gum box up there (so we both gifted something that was really for our own sakes!) and the Leatherheads DVD.

Tonight we actually celebrated Col's birthday early because Phantom of the Opera was in town, but we went to Salena's and stuffed ourselves with nachos first.  So we had a combo anniversary/birthday celebration, which was fun to top off our first day back at work after our little getaway!

And while we didn't have time to watch our wedding video, I definitely fell asleep thinking about how we were just leaving our reception at that time three years ago :)

3rd anni getaway trip

Col surprised me once more this year with our anni getaway.  He hates that I "always know everything" and guess his surprises, so this year he made sure that I wouldn't find out.  I had no clues whatsoever except a PowerPoint rhyme spoken by him about what to pack.  He did let it slip that the location was out of state when we were discussing what we would do should we have been picked for our last profiling opportunity, but that's all I knew.  We left Sunday morning, and I navigated with directions that had destinations blacked out on them (which were hidden underneath my seat in the car).

We entered Pennsylvania, and stopped at a shopping center.  Our first stop was Scranton to take a picture with the sign that's in The Office.  They moved it to a mall a couple years ago because so many people were taking their pictures with it that it was dangerous (being on the side of a highway and all).

Afterwards, we drove for another hour and pulled into a cute little town which I immediately loved.  I noticed an inn and stated how cool it looked, and Col parked in front of it.  We were in Jim Thorpe, PA and we had arrived!  It is an old mining town which had a lot of Irish heritage.  There were lots of little shops, pubs, and a lot of the buildings were old, like the row houses that many still live in.  We stayed in the original inn (the one I saw) from the 1800's.  

Sunday we explored a little but wanted to keep most of it to Monday.  The weather was finally warm and sunny which was perfect because we walked around most of the time.  We had a mid-afternoon lunch at a little cafe, gathered some information and figured out our plan of action for Monday (unfortunately all of the tours - for the jail, mine, mansion, etc. - did not open until Memorial Day weekend, so we'll have to go back someday!), spent time on the inn balcony, got pizza slices for dinner, took a walk, and watched the Amazing Race and HGTV (our cable fix).

Monday we had breakfast at the inn outside, and then walked the length of the town, exploring all the little shops.  We met a very nice older woman in the toy store who loved showing us all the toys she had and was so sweet when our answer to, "Do you have kids?" was that we were in the process of adopting.  We had homemade ice cream for lunch (I, chocolate covered strawberry, and Col, milky way), read the ghost stories that took place at our inn, checked out the local mansions from when the town was first built, and then decided to walk the half an hour to see the Jim Thorpe memorial.  The town used to be named Mauch Chunk (which I find so amusing), but I guess when it was struggling at some point in the 1900's, they re-named it after the famous Olympian Jim Thorpe.  He later ended up being buried there even though he had no affiliation with them previously.  So we figured that we might as well go see it even though we had never heard of him.  Well, unfortunately Google maps does not give you terrain with it's walking time, and we found ourselves hiking up a hill most of the way.  It was warm out so we were pretty spent by the time we got there.  All for some guy we had never heard of ;) The walk back was much more pleasant going downhill.

That evening we ate at the local pub and the burgers were delicious!  We got a piece of triple chocolate cheesecake to go, and settled onto the balcony for the evening.  It was fun to relax and watch the town, while a musician played down on the sidewalk (we called him the town troubadour, like in Gilmore Girls).  We took once last walk through the town before bed.  And that night when I couldn't sleep, I swear I heard something in our room, all because Col had to read about the haunting at the inn!

(The best part?  Those doors opened automatically when you got close.  It felt so fancy and like the old days, except the doormen were invisible!)

Tuesday we once again enjoyed breakfast at the inn but had to sit inside because it was pouring.  We drove to a huge country store, and it was massive, walked through it, ogled at the animals, and headed home in intense rain which became snow (boo).  It was the perfect little getaway, relaxing, fun, and together.  Major kudos to my hubby whose plan was great!

(This monstrosity was for sale, and his hand was a little seat.)

Rach's bridal shower

Today I had the honor of helping to host Rach's bridal shower along with her two sister-in-laws.  We tried to go with a country chic theme and the colors were pink and brown.  Everything turned out great, and it was wonderful to see all the details come together!  The day was sunny and warm, the food was good, and everyone had fun.  The one thing I regret is that we didn't get a picture of us!  We did however all get to wear our dresses to get fitted :) Happy Bridal Shower Day!

decor

date night ideas on popsicle sticks, favors, prizes

centerpieces

self-explanatory - cupcakes

favors

I'm a little obsessed with these.  

One of the bridesmaids found the idea, and I decided to try to make them (it's soap).  

I absolutely love how they came out!

Zumba!

I had my first Zumba class tonight!  I have wanted to take Zumba for so long, and I was constantly bringing it up but not doing anything about it.  I finally decided, in keeping with my goal to continue to make plans regardless of the fact that we never know when they may change due to our adoption, that the next time it was offered as part of the community education in West Irondequoit, I would take it.  I figured that taking it through community education would be less hard-core (and cheaper) than at a gym, seeing as I do not regularly, or really ever, workout.  So I somehow convinced my willing mother-in-law to sign up with me, and we started our eight-week weekly class.

Of course it being the first day I was running a little late.  I got there a couple minutes after and could hear the music playing as I hurried down the hall to where it's held.  As I quickly drop my stuff and join in next to my mother-in-law in the back row, a survey of the room shows that I am definitely by far the youngest one in the class.  There was one girl who looked young, but she was clear across the room.  My MIL also filled me in between moves that I missed introductions and we were the only new ones to the class, so we stuck out like sore thumbs as these hardcore mothers and [mostly] grandmothers were shaking their stuff.  I even got a personal shout out from the instructor during a song as she noticed I had joined and yelled, "Welcome Ashley!!!"  There were no slow teaching-the-steps moments, but we danced alongside everyone as best we could (since they all knew the routines already).  Despite all that (and despite the entire song that was dedicated to squats, oof), I had a blast!  It was entertaining to hear the woo girls (How I Met Your Mother anyone?!) during the harder parts and to complete turns where everyone yelled, "Go back row!"

I can't wait to go back and think I may make this a weekly routine indefinitely.  Woo!

what's been happening lately...

We've had a lot going on lately.  In March we dog sat at a family friends' house again, dog sat our friends' dog at our place, celebrated our niece's 1st birthday, and had a lot of family and friend time.  We had some nice quiet evenings and weekends at home with no plans which were great to relax.  Now we are entering into a crazy busy April with activities almost every night and weekend.  And unfortunately, I've started it out with the stomach bug.  I can't remember the last time I had a stomach bug, but man oh man I forgot how awful they are.  I'm on day 2, able to keep food down, and trying to re-hydrate because my muscles are killing me from dehydration.  I passed out yesterday when in the worst throws of it, so I'm glad to say that now I'm on the up and up!

We also received a call from our agency on Tuesday notifying us that we were not chosen for our most recent profiling opportunity.  We had received a call in early March about a case and have been waiting, somewhat patiently, to hear if we were picked or not.  We had decided after our last failed matches to keep all future calls quiet until we heard one way or another, because it's just too much back and forth to keep everyone informed and then say that it didn't work out.  This was the first call that we were not chosen for, since our earlier calls we were either matched or never heard back from (our very first one we were one of the families that the birthmom had narrowed it down to but we were pulled from the case when we were matched).  This is quite typical, to receive multiple calls and not be chosen, but I think it's especially hard for me because our process has been a little backwards.  Most people experience more of the wait in the beginning, with a few calls here and there where they aren't chosen, and then later get matched.  We had so many calls right away and were matched so quickly, that it's hard to get used to this, especially after losing both our matches.  But alas, we continue on and hope that spring brings a lot more calls because it's been slow and spotty (again, probably my perception after our quick start). 

I decorated the house for Easter Tuesday night.  It's so cheery and colorful, which lifts my mood. :)

I am so looking forward to our upcoming little getaway for our anniversary.  Col's planned the whole thing and it's a surprise.  All I know is that it's drive-able and out of state (which he accidentally let slip when we were talking about what to do if we were matched with this last referral).  He sent me a PowerPoint with his voice speaking the words with clues on what to pack.  I have felt the need to get away for a while now and am looking forward to a refreshing time with him!

That's all for now!  I'm so glad the sun is shining today and the weather is starting to warm up.  This has been the longest winter ever, and I need some warm weather!

Gilmore Girls reading challenge - book 2

April 2014: The Kite Runner