adoption updates and reflections

We have been in the adoption process for an official year and a half now.  It feels much longer because we started meeting with families and researching a year before even applying to an agency.  Maybe it's because of my attempt to always control everything, but I wanted to look back and recap what our experience has been so far in numbers.  I know the numbers don't mean anything, because it all comes down to that one "yes" that actually becomes a permanent placement, but I thought it would be helpful regardless.

During our journey thus far we have had:

• 14 - profiling opportunities (that we knew about - we could have been profiled more times "blindly," which we don't always hear about)
• 2 - matches (September '13 and February '14)
• 2 - babies born (baby girl 10/17/13 and baby boy 2/14?/14)
• 2 - matches fail (10/18/13 and 2/17/14)
• 4 - opportunities that we declined having our profiles shown for (which were heart wrenching to do, especially when it came down to finances)
• 2 - we never heard back about
• 6 - no's (prospective birthparents chose other families)

Unfortunately, it feels like we've been given a lot of no's lately.  And it's hard to wonder why we aren't being picked even though only God and the birthmom's know why.  Deep down I know these babies are not our own (although I wish they were!), and so I'm continuing to learn patience and trust in God's timing.

I woke up this morning tired, but feeling hope in a new day.  I'm always trying to balance my emotions and not become too numb but also not allow my excitement to get away from me.  We've found a pretty neutral space where we continue to focus on enjoying our lives and pray every day for the prospective birthmoms and babies who we are called about.  And I do dream and envision, but I also try more to just focus on what God is teaching me here and now no matter what answer we hear.  We soldier on, knowing that God does have a plan, no matter how much the negative voices tell us the opposite.

And you know what else we've had despite the trials?

• Countless - opportunities to trust God, share our story with others, and give Him the glory!

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:22-23