what I'm learning : new mom edition

A few new things I've learned from my 3 1/2 months of being a mom:

• Mommy guilt is very real...and it stinks.
  
• Spit up, drool, blowouts and other messy discharges (whether it be in public or at home) really no longer phase you after, oh say, the first couple times.
  
• How fast I can shower.  I mean, why did it take me so long before?
  
• Successfully cutting baby nails should be rewarded with a prize.  Every.single.time.
  
• It's amazing how much you can miss your husband, even though you still share daily life.  I really understand the "ships passing in the night" phrase now.
  
• How much I can do with one hand.  Perhaps they should start a one-handed mommy Olympics of sorts.
  
• Despite the lack of postpartum hormones, it's really easy to get emotional.
  
• When your child looks different than you, complete strangers believe that means it's totally normal to ask you all sorts of questions about their background.
  
• How much I feel like I'm not doing my best in any area of my life as I juggle the new routine of work and life with a baby.
  
• How hard it is when you can't fix or don't know how to make something better for your child.
  
• The depth of longing to have a relationship with E.J.'s birthmom and just know that she's ok.
  
• What being tired really is.  I often felt tired pre-baby, but man, I had no idea.
  
• The fact that I can still work, socialize, and function on few hour blocks of sleep.
  
• The difficulty of walking out the door in the morning when E.J.'s not yet awake.
  
• The amount of dirty laundry a tiny person can make.
  
• Guilt about the days when you just can't wait until it's bedtime.
  
• The rate of speed in which a 5 lb. 7 oz. newborn can become a 14 lb. 2 oz. baby.
  
• How quickly the pain of the wait is put in its place.
  
• And lastly, despite the exhaustion, tears, frustrations, and fears, how absolutely wonderful it is to be a mom.

new mom ramblings

Life is busy!  We've always been pretty busy people, but it takes on a whole new level when you are caring for a little one.  I recently went back to work, and while I was able to go down to 36 hours instead of the full 40, it is a huge adjustment to get used to.  So far, I've made it through a week and a half, but I'm already learning that I'm going to have to rearrange some of my always present to-do's.  I miss Bubs terribly, but you do what you have to do for your family, and we couldn't have a better arrangement for his care.  Our parents all take turns throughout the week and with Colin's split shift, he's home during the middle of every day.  It's comforting to know that he's being loved on by his fam, and is usually exhausted from playing all day by the time I get home.

Working full-time, coming home to enjoy an hour and a half of Ephraim time before he goes to bed, then eating dinner and spending a little time with hubby before an early bedtime for us to start the routine all over again is exhausting!  I understand even more why people say it's so important to plan time for your marriage after little ones, because we barely have time to catch up before falling into bed.  Bubs went down to one feed every night for a little bit but has decided once more that he's just too hungry to do that and now still eats twice a night.  We've decided to alternate nights so that every other night at least one of us is getting sleep, and while I don't mind snuggling him at night while he eats, I can't say they're my favorite feeds!  He's a quickly growing boy though, and no mama's going to keep her babe from eating!

Sometimes I think how different life was just a few short months ago, but I wouldn't go back for anything.  While our world changed in the matter of 24 hours, I can't act unprepared as we had been waiting for a year and a half.  And honestly, the adjustment has been pretty easy.  Time goes by so fast, and we are just trying to savor each little baby moment, because we know how quickly it will pass.  I mean, can you believe we have a three month old already?!

3 months

you are not alone

We were honored when we were able to take part in a local photographer's very special project this past summer.  Titled "Infertility and Loss," it chronicles the journeys of five couples who have struggled through infertility, miscarriage, and perinatal loss.  It is important for us to be open to sharing our story so that others can feel understood.  There are so many who suffer their heartaches in silence, and we want to help open up communication.  Enjoy!

#11 November date / New Year's Eve

Again, a little behind schedule, we managed to eke out this date just before the end of the year.  New Year's Eve we enjoyed November's date night of Chinese food and games.  We weren't sure if we would make it to midnight since we usually go to bed much earlier, but we ended up playing both video and card games long enough to watch the ball drop (in bed so that we could turn off the TV immediately and go to sleep in anticipation of Ephraim waking up for his feeding).  Even though we were tired, it was nice to enjoy some couple time after Bubs went to bed, instead of just going to bed ourselves.  It was a very successful year of dates, and I'm glad that I created it so that we had an excuse to enjoy some new and old activities together.