Honoring J

Today is National Birth Mother's Day, and with Mother's Day tomorrow, I've been thinking even more about the amazing woman who chose to give life and chose adoption for our sweet Ephraim Jacob.  It's still very hard for me to not know her, not know how she's doing, and not talk to her about Ephraim.  We longed for a relationship with our child's birth mom and birth family before we knew who they might be.  However, we also respect the wishes of J, because it's the least we can do for her, when she has given us so much.

So even though we don't know her personally, we love her, honor her, and will always speak of her often.  She is a part of Ephraim and a part of our lives and hearts, even though we've never met her.  She is the brave woman who made a completely selfless decision, based on what she felt was the best choice for her baby.  She entrusted us to raise her child, and we will always remember that even though she is not raising him, even though some may not even know her story, she is a mother.  She is a mother in the greatest sense of the word, who put her child's needs before her own.  She, in the short time that she had, did everything she could for her little one by making the biggest sacrifice.

Birth mother's are often overlooked.  The pain and loss of adoption is many times forgotten or denied.  But it's important to remember that with each creation of a new family, one was broken.  She is not seeing him grow into the fun, happy boy that we know.  She doesn't get to experience new things with him, wipe his tears, and make him laugh.  And this loss will never be lost on us, even in our overwhelming joy at the blessing that Ephraim is to us.  

Even though I can't celebrate her the way I wish I could, spending time in person or over the phone, I will be thinking of her all day, both today and tomorrow on Mother's Day.  I will tell Ephraim what we know about her, and we will say extra prayers for her tonight, as we do every night.  Because never could I overlook the woman who gave life to our child.