You know what's hard? Wanting to plan something and not being able to do it. Because we have no idea when a baby may enter our lives, it's so hard to make plans that go into the future. For example, I would love to visit my brother in L.A. because we haven't been out there at all in the years that he's lived there. But it's hard to book flights without knowing if we'll have an infant then. If we knew, we could plan and travel when we felt comfortable, not with a newborn, etc. I've had to tell people that I would be available for two different commitments that are a few months away, but on a "play it by ear" basis. Which is fine, but as a Type A planner, it is such a struggle for me! Everything is, "If we have Little L by then..." At the same time I'm always hoping that we do have Little L by then!
I have to remember that only the Lord knows the true timing of everything in our lives. Even when we do plan things, no one knows if we'll be able to carry them out. God knows our steps, our breaths. But sometimes it's so hard with the adoption waiting game to continue to enjoy life and make plans for fun activities, trips, and events! We are adamant about living and loving as we wait, of having a full life together, but I just wish I knew what and how much I could do and when. Because I would be happy to adjust my plans to love on Little L, you know? :)
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