[learning to] gain patience

I've been riding the rollercoaster of emotions lately.  Not bad, just beginning to really experience all these swirling emotions that come along with waiting for Little L.  Ahh, Little L.  I can't wait to hold you in my arms.

I had an unfortunate doctor's appointment, where I had to once again speak to why I'm not on birth control.  Yes, I've dealt with it.  And yes, I can easily talk about it.  But no, I don't really want to have to say it again and again every single time I come in.

We get over that checkpoint and things are fine until the end of my appointment when the doctor starts waxing poetic about our other option for having children (after asking if I even want any).  Fine, give me all the options (I do know them, we did think just a little bit about our decision to adopt thankyouverymuch).  However, when I've already told you that we chose adoption, are very happy with our choice and believe it's the best option for us, have finished all our paperwork, and are now waiting to be chosen for a baby, do not keep going on and on about the other option that you obviously prefer.  When I've already told you that essentially I am "paper pregnant," loving an unknown child in my heart, please just say, "Congratulations," or, "That's great!"  Anything to affirm what I've already told you is done (and which I'm very happy about!).  Ugh.

After it had all sunk in (I was polite and conversational until I had the chance to replay the conversation in my mind) and I was leaving the appointment, I just wanted to go home.  Unfortunately, I was upset that evening because of it.  I recently read a blog post about negative, or un-helpful, responses that people have gotten in response to telling that they are adopting.  I guess this was my first!

Also, my patience has been running low these days.  Not with waiting, I'm doing pretty well with that, but with everything else.  I decided that all my patience is being put into waiting and that this is a lesson in gaining even more!  Lesson #1 (out of an infinite number of others): Patience.

 

James 1:2-8
² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

 

Proverbs 19:11
¹¹ A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.