unexpected blessings

Recently I've been reflecting on one aspect of our adoption journey that I didn't really think about much, but that has been a huge blessing, and frankly a bonus of our experience thus far.  It began happening when we started to be more open about our infertility.  The topic would come up about children or pregnancy, and with those I felt comfortable with and in situations where it made sense, I would respond that we were unable to have biological children but that we had exciting plans in order to grow our family.  Simply being open about the fact that we are infertile, even if mentioning it casually and without telling our whole story, seemed to give others the go-ahead to do the same.  I learned others' stories about their own infertility, and it was nice to form that bond, knowing that even if it were never mentioned again, there was someone else who really "got it." 

Not only did this happen in my own work/life community, but when we attended our first adoption class and had to go around the room to introduce ourselves, someone about halfway through said that they had experienced infertility and tried treatments but were now adopting.  I had to chuckle as every single couple after them stated something similar (we were second to last, and I was going to say it anyways).  Infertility is still such an unspoken issue (even though much more prevalent than many think - due to this unspoken-ness!), and even though each and every story is very different, I am glad that there are those out there willing to share, as this then gives others a chance to share too.  No one wants to go around telling everyone everything, and I know many people, us included, don't talk about it for sympathy.  However, it is an issue, it hurts, and it can also sometimes put people on the outside looking in.

More recently, I have been amazed at how many people, even just within my workplace, are touched by adoption themselves.  I would have never known, and the only reason each person has shared is because we shared our story.  Think about it: First introductions usually don't go like this, "Hi, I'm so-and-so, going to be working in the whatever-office, and I was adopted."  No one I know has ever done that, and why would they?  Yes, it's a huge part of someone's identity, but do I go around saying that I have OCD tendencies or that my husband and I aren't able to have biological children?  No!  But, how many times have you experienced, being brave and sharing a part of your story, only to be blessed by someone sharing theirs?  It has by far been the one perk that I never would have expected.  It also makes me more and more aware of how important it is to embrace our story and share it boldly and proudly, all the happy, sad, tough, rough, and miraculous moments.  Isn't that part of why we are here, to lift others up, be in community, and love?

And so lately, I've been thankful for this part of our story, because without it, our eyes would have never been opened to some of the stories of those around us.

"Everyone has a story to tell.  You just have to loosen up and tell it." ~ Jim Rhodes