adoption renewal paperwork

One of my goals over the long weekend was to sit down and get our adoption paperwork done once and for all.  The packet of all too familiar items had been sitting on our kitchen island far too long, and I knew that because my motivation was pretty non-existent, I would have to set a goal for myself to be able to check off. 

 

Sunday night, my original night to tackle the pile, came and went, and so we sat down Monday night, pretty tired after days of working outside (probably not the best combination of it being the last night of a long weekend and being completely wiped out).  Despite that, we were able to complete everything.  I was extremely upset with myself because I had not made copies last year of the two hardest packets to fill out, which required lots of file-pulling, number-crunching, and general annoyance.  I was so looking forward to being able to copy over a lot of the information since not much has changed, but alas, I was taught my lesson once more.  Everything else had been copied (which came in handy a little), but I remember last year 1) wanting to get everything out ASAP, and 2) assuming that we wouldn't need to do this again.  Silly me!

 

However, after a few grumblings and frustration, we came out alive around 11p with our paperwork complete!  And so this bad boy went in the mail today, and we are on our way to renewal (I know, the picture of the envelope isn't very exciting, but I had to do something!).

 

 

Last steps: our medical forms/doctor's appointments and re-filling out the grid, which we have revisited a few times since the start of our journey and which shouldn't take long to do once more.  After those are in, we'll schedule another home visit with our social worker.

Memorial Day weekend 2014

We had a great Memorial Day weekend!  I was looking forward to the extra day off work for a while, and we were able to accomplish a lot.  Saturday Col took Mendon to the dog park for the first time while I had a "coffee" (I don't like coffee) date with my two college roomies.  That afternoon I headed off for Rach's bachelorette party.  I enjoyed trying hoop dancing for the first time (although I didn't really dance at all...it took the whole hour to learn how to properly hoop!) and have the bruises on my hip and back to show for it!  We enjoyed some relaxing time with snacks and gifts before heading out, enjoying dinner at TRATA.

Sunday after church we worked at home underneath our deck.  Col especially has been wanting to do something underneath because while it's not tall enough to be a usable space for adults, it's half dirt, half grass which leads to a messy dog and wasted space.  There were some pavers left over from the previous owner, so we decided to spread those out and put down stone in between.  My parents' new house has a ton of stone that they don't want, so we formed the perfect partnership for our outdoor projects!  I am disappointed that I didn't take a before picture, but I'll post a partially finished picture soon.

We walked to the town parade in the afternoon that goes right near our house and brought Mendon to see how she'd do.  She was a perfect angel with all the attention she got from kids and adults, however she does not like drums!  Once they were in front of us she was shaking like a leaf, so we reassured her that she was ok and decided parades probably wouldn't be in her future.

Monday we headed out to my parents to pick up more stone and had a picnic with the extended fam.  We came back early that evening and worked outside more before sitting down to bust out the adoption update paperwork.  It was a great weekend, although tiring!  I need another day to rest up!

happy friday!

For your entertainment, my dog who gives herself a handkerchief with her blanket.  Cracks me up every time!

 

when the beautiful causes pain

Tonight with the help of my parents, we cut down the tree in the front of our house.  While right now it's beautifully blooming and welcoming spring, it was unfortunately planted too close to the house and is/can cause problems.  When we first bought our house the inspector said we should remove it because the roots could affect the foundation, the branches tear our screens, the siding would be discolored from the tree blocking it, and I can't plant anything in the flower bed since no sun or rain would be able to nurture it.  At first I was against taking it down, because it does bloom beautifully for a short while in the spring, however that isn't worth the long-term issues that we could have.  Branches are growing through the screens and into our living room when the windows are open, and I'm over not being able to see out our front windows.

I was initially just going to blog about saying goodbye to the tree, but I had a deeper thought and decided to run with it.  How often in life do the beautiful things cause us pain?  Especially today in our society, where "beauty" is everywhere but is often anything but.  And I can't help but think about how adoption is such a beautiful way to grow a family and representation of Christ's love, however it isn't all happy and comes from and causes pain as a birth family chooses a different life for their child, or a child is orphaned, or a birth family's rights are removed.  And how much more does this also represent the gospel, the fact that we are wholly, unconditionally loved, given freedom from our sins and life eternal, yet for this to happen Jesus had to endure the greatest of pain by death on the cross before the beauty of the gospel could be complete.  Something to think about.  I'm thankful God can remind me of these things amidst every day life.

oh how i love this dog

While digging in the downstairs closet for some of his teacher stuff, Col had to pull out the new dog bed that we got on clearance for Mendon a while back but weren't using yet.  She found it, and when Col backed out of the closet he called me to come down quietly.  This is what we saw:

 

I love this dog so, so much!

 

P.S. We told her she had to wait for her birthday to have the bed, but at least we know she likes it ;)

little home improvements

We have been doing a few minor things around the house lately, and it's amazing what a little something can do to spruce up the place.  We aren't the type to get into large home improvement projects, partially because we aren't super handy, partially because I don't have the motivation, and partially because thankfully the inside of our house is in pretty good shape.  I do jump on my own spring cleaning bandwagon every year and have yet to complete that, but hey, home-ownership is a constant work in progress right?

 

One thing that I did want to replace was the carpeting on our stairs.  Since we live in a raised ranch we have seven steps going up when you first walk in the door and five going down.  The carpet was probably original to when the house was built 16 years ago and was worn and dirty in the central track area.  It also had some pretty nasty nails that were sticking up and it didn't take too many times of accidentally stepping on those for Col to jump on replacing it.  Thankfully, his uncle and aunt own a carpet store, we found a remnant that we loved, and his other uncle came over one day to install it.  Col surprised me by not telling me when it was getting put in, and so I came home to this!  It's so soft, cushy, clean, and no nails!  I love it! [warning: now when anyone comes over or we walk in the door, we are crazy about taking off shoes whereas before we were pretty 50/50 about it ;)]

 

 

We have also been searching for a while now for the right height stools to put under the shorter side of our island.  Everything we came across came in two sizes which were both too high.  Col always looked whenever and wherever we went shopping, so while at Target one night he found these.  After I sat on each and every one in the store to find the perfect two that weren't wobbly and the right amount of cushy-ness, we snatched them up.  They are the perfect height for us and kids someday to enjoy and they're quite comfortable!  Col has already tested them out by doing some of his lesson planning and job paperwork there.



 

oh to just have a physical appointment

Our adoption update requires us to get our physicals done again.  Not long after finding out that we would have to re-do the physical forms, I called my PCP to set up an appointment, knowing that I should do so before getting the forms from the agency.  They were booked and the earliest they could offer me was July 1st.  However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it would be too late because the social worker won't set up the home study visit until all of our paper is in and approved.  Since our expiration date is July 20 and the report takes a week or two to complete, we would be cutting it super close.  I called back today and tried to appeal my case, but they had no cancellations nor could they put me on a list.  I was frustrated, trying to be understanding (since I work in a doctor's office, I truly understand the receptionist's plight), but also trying to be firm that I needed to have this done sooner and why.  I hung up and started to tear up but decided that this would work out and I would appeal to our agency after our other paperwork is in to see if they would set up the meeting with the understanding that I would send in my medical form ASAP after my appointment that day.  I've read other blogs about how people have had to be firm to get appointments they need for their adoptions, but their appeals always worked.  I was discouraged and wondering if I should have done more, but didn't want to be mean or rude.

An hour later, the receptionist at my doctor's office called me sounding all excited.  She had maneuvered some things around and moved someone else's appointment.  She could offer me an early June appointment!  Not only that, but I'm already off work that day.  I graciously accepted it not caring what time it was, and probably said thank you about 10 times.  After giving me such a resolute no earlier, I am so grateful that she decided to see what she could do.  So now I'm that annoying patient, the kind who drove me nuts when I worked at the front desk, but I feel that God definitely worked in the situation!  Hooray!

on updating

Sorry for the lull, life has been busy and I haven't had much inspiration to write.  But I want to make sure to chronicle the latest in our adoption.

We recently met with the Director of Adoption at our agency in Buffalo.  When we got our renewal paperwork, it was suggested that if we hadn't done so in a while, to schedule a face-to-face meeting to talk about how things are going and moving forward.  Since our family advocate is out on maternity leave, Kathy was nice enough to meet with us.  We knew the meeting wouldn't change anything, but I felt that we should do it because it also couldn't hurt.  And I wanted to make sure that since our advocate was out, everyone who was covering was on the same page as to where we have been, where we are, and where we're going.

We hadn't been to the agency in a long time, since we signed paperwork for our first match, but it was good to be back.  It's such an inviting place.  Kathy was so nice, and the meeting went really well.  We talked about how the past year has been, she gave a lot of weight to our failed matches instead of brushing over them for which I was thankful, and she was encouraging.  We talked about our infertility, feelings after the failed matches, and a bit of our story.  It was so nice to just talk about everything with someone, because I feel like we never had the chance to do that with someone there before.  We asked what we could do moving forward and she said that usually they have a lot of suggestions for people, but in our case she didn't really have a lot.  Our grids are so open that we aren't restricting ourselves in that way, and the only thing we could do is change our profile book into a bound soft cover and/or put our profile online.  While we don't plan to do either at the moment because we just sent them 3 new books and we don't want to incur more costs right now, it was encouraging to know that we aren't holding ourselves back.  It was also a little frustrating because it would be easier to have "easy" answers as to why we are at this stage in the process a year later, but she had our file in front of her and was explaining how we've gotten almost all of the profiling opportunity calls that they have had this past year.  Our page is almost full whereas many families get to their one year mark and have only had a few calls.  This is because we are so open in our grids, so that was good.  Now we just have to get someone to pick us and the choice to stick!  God knows who that will be and will continue to prepare us for that day.

She answered all of our questions and even said that she was glad we didn't say yes to being profiled for the latest call we had received, a case through an attorney in Florida.  We declined mostly because the fees were almost double the usual amounts, even with our agency lowering their placement fee.  It was also a case with a few more risk factors.  She said that it was smart that we know we can say no, and we talked about how hard that is, but she reminded us that if we were chosen for that case, she isn't due until October.  We would miss out on any cases until then, and if the adoption didn't go through, we would be back at square one and having been "out" of the pool for those 5 months.

One piece that we learned that is disheartening is that they are only working with about 4 or 5 birth moms right now.  While this can change, they never have control over how many women come to them and when.  Prayer that these birthmoms will get the support they need and that others will find Adoption S.T.A.R.

We left our meeting and decided to grab a bite to eat before heading back.  While waiting for our food, Kathy emailed us the answers to two questions that she had to ask about.  The fact that she responded so quickly was outstanding, especially because it was a financial question.  We got home and found the paperwork in our mailbox.  Because it's a legal file, all of our paperwork is only good for one year.  I have looked at it, put it down, and left it on the counter, but I've had no motivation to work on it.  Prayer also that we can take the time to sit down and get it all done soon.  That way we'll have done our part, and we can continue to wait for God to do His.

Mother's Day 2014

Mother's Day was hard for me this year.  Last year we were in the adoption process, but I just didn't have the emotions that I did this year.  With the failed matches, which bring up infertility pain as well, and the fact that we are nearing renewal, it was a little tough.  However, we did have a great day celebrating our moms.  We went to church and then brunch with my in-laws, then enjoyed a nice walk outside on the river with Col's fam and Mendon.  I spent a lot of time reading and relaxing that afternoon, and then we went to Batavia and took my parents out for ice cream.  We are blessed to be able to celebrate with both of our moms.

I was also blessed immensely by three friends' sweet, heartfelt texts and messages about how I deserve to be recognized today, that the honor and title includes me as a mom waiting for my baby to be in my arms, etc.  It was so nice to know that amidst their Mother's Days, with their own little ones or little ones-to-be to celebrate, they were thinking of me and how the day was hard for me.  I am so grateful for the people that God has placed in my life to show me His love.  And I also read this in a blog and love this line: This year I have been able to accept that I am a Mother, but not YET a Parent.  Yes, that is true.  I make decisions for our future child, pray for him/her, and love him/her.  I am a mother, but not yet a parent.

dinner out

We had a yummy dinner out with my parents tonight thanks to a Christmas gift of a Groupon from Kristyn, my brother's girlfriend.  It was this tiny Italian restaurant named Roncone's in the city that we would have never found on our own, and it was so good! 

happy 27th, hubby!

Happiest of birthdays to the man whom I am blessed to enjoy this ride of life with.  It's always better together!  

Today I made the customary chocolate chip muffins for breakfast and for dinner we went to Moe's with his fam.  After stuffing ourselves, we headed back to my in-laws to enjoy cake and ice cream.  I made a dark chocolate bundt cake for our community group a couple days ago, and Col requested it again but with M&M's, Reese's Pieces, Kit Kat, and 3 Musketeers in the batter.  Most of the candy melted inside, but it was good nonetheless!  Happy 27th Col! :) I love you!

Gilmore Girls reading challenge - book 3

May 2014: The Lovely Bones