2013 reflections

As I sit here, thinking back on this year, what a ride it has been.  Exciting, nerve-wracking, full of changes, heartbreaking, and wonderful.  A few highlights:

January

: bought and moved into our first house

February

: adopted our cherished dog, Mendon

March
: our second niece Aubrey was born

: started our adoption process

April

: celebrated 2 years of marriage with a weekend trip planned by Col to Saratoga Springs

: our roommates/good friends from college's baby Jeremiah was born

May

: Col's 26th birthday

: open house and adoption announcement

June
: paperwork and classes done, ready for home study visits with social worker

: first home study visit

July

: second home study visit
: became a waiting family for our adoption

: offered promotion at work

: Lake Placid Leathersich family vacation

August
: paid off all student loans

: our good friends Katie and Aaron got married 

: annual college friends weekend at Katie's camp

: bridesmaid dress shopping for Rach's wedding

: mom and dad moved back to Batavia

September

: met a bunch of awesome new people at our new community group for church

October

: community group and work baby showers

November
: family baby shower

: began promotion offered in July

: spent time with Deanna home from Nashville

December

: my 27th birthday

: birthday surprise day trip to Skaneateles planned by Col

: Christmas with Zack home

Overall it's been a great year, even though it contained some of the toughest months of our lives.  I am so thankful for all that we experienced in 2013 and the many big moments we were able to enjoy.  Tonight, we will celebrate quietly at home in good company (and of course with good food!).  Here's to 2014, a year full of hope as we continue our adoption journey and whatever else life brings our way!

cherished gifts

We had a very good Christmas this year.  The week of Christmas was full of family, friends, food, time off, and relaxation.  My current sadness dissipated as we enjoyed time with my brother who we see once a year at Christmas, extended and immediate relatives, each other, and at church.  I had time to reflect on Jesus' birth and the joy of the season.  I thoroughly enjoyed every celebration we had and our quiet Christmas morning together.  

We received a completely unexpected gift from my in-laws that we are so excited about: a propane patio heater for our deck!  I am SO excited to have get-togethers outside again and enjoy warmth in the cool spring and fall evenings.

A special gift we received from my parents was my childhood rocking chair, re-upholstered and re-finished by my mom.  She said she was so glad she had time to finish it because it was the best gift, and I agree!  I can't wait for Little L to use it someday :)

My brother has always been the most thoughtful gifter I know.  He outdid himself this year, giving us the sweetest gifts for Little L, because he wasn't around for our showers.  My most cherished one is this growth chart that he made himself.  I'm so impressed and blown away!  It includes pins to affix the tags on the length of burlap.  Another thing I can't wait to use for all the future Little L's!

No matter the journey, we are blessed.  I am so thankful for our families and friends the Lord has given us, and for sending His Son, so that we can celebrate the Christmas season.  I hope your Christmas was just as special!

winter walk

Merry Christmas!

Matthew 1:21 "She will give birth to a son, 

and you are to give him the name Jesus, 

because he will save his people from their sins." 

bro's home!

Today we surprised Zack at the airport (he thought my rents were picking him up, but didn't know that Col and I would be there).  Col was his limo driver, and I, his personal assistant.  We had dinner at P.F. Changs all together and it was so much fun!  We can't wait for him to come stay with us tomorrow, see our house for the first time, and meet Mendon.  So good to have him home for Christmas, especially since we haven't seen him since last Christmas!

adoption update attempt

Hi everyone.  Miss me?  It's been a while, hasn't it.  For a month I've thought about how I should blog an update for everyone on our adoption.  This draft has sat here for countless weeks.  Because it's hard to write an update when there isn't one.  We are just...waiting.

Even before we started our own adoption journey, when it was just a far-away, extremely overwhelming thought in my mind, I read many other blogs about adoption and felt encouraged.  In addition to keeping family and friends up on our journey, I have wanted to be an encourager to others through their infertility and/or adoption journeys, even if just to say, "Someone else knows how you feel," or, "We've done it, you can too!"  But in order to do so, I know that I owe it to myself to be candid and honest.

And so, honestly, I've been in a funk lately.  I've been passing through the stages of grief from our failed placement differently than other grieving events in my life.  This one seems to be lingering, very much present in the day to day.  For the first month after our failed placement, we let ourselves go just a little and ate like crap.  Takeout, sweets, and junk food were staples.  And we didn't care (who doesn't want an excuse to do that every once in a while?).  We gave ourselves that month, which ended up stretching into a month and a half, to ease up on one area of our lives.

My birthday was especially hard this year.  I am usually excited about birthdays, even just a little as I get older, but this year didn't feel right.  Because I am a planner at heart, I of course have a timeline in my head about what stage of life I want to be at or have accomplished by a certain age.  I've always wanted to be young when having children, much like my parents were.  For many reasons, it is my ideal.  And as much as I know that I need to let go of my plans and timeline and give them to God, it's still hard.  And so, as I turned 27 and have no children or the promise of any soon, I had to grieve that.  I am so thankful for being able to have dinner with Col and my parents that evening, but the whole day just seemed like any other day (or maybe I was trying to hope it into that).

While I appreciate everyone's well wishes of "you're so young," it doesn't change the fact that this is a dream of mine that I must let go of, timeline-wise.  I know we are young to many, but no one would say that to someone who is pregnant at 25 because that is when they want to be.  You see, we've had to give up on some dreams and grieve doors that were closed to us.  Being re-directed is not always easy.  Even as I write this though, I am reminded of the fact that as much as we plan, life will happen according to God's will and timing.  I felt the same way about getting married; it was later than I had always planned on.  But we got married, it was the best day of my life, and I have felt no recourse whatsoever from it being a couple years later than my timeline.  And, when I always planned on having children by the age of 30, I always had pregnancies in mind.  Now, I know with all my heart that adoption is the plan God has for us to grow our family, even on the days when I wish it wasn't.

So I've been a little down lately.
Do I know that in the end, this will all be worth it?  Yes.
Do I believe that we are on the right path?  Yes.
Do I believe that it will happen?  Yes.
Do I trust God with this piece of our lives?  Yes (it's ok that it's a work-in-progress faith building exercise - for life!)

But is it hard some days, and I just need to cry?  Yes.
Do I wish it would just hurry up and happen already?  Yes.
Am I still unbelievably in love with our full, finished nursery and can't wait for a little babe to use it?  Yes.

That's where we are at.  Loving each other as always, living life, and enjoying the little things (and the Christmas season!).  There are others who have gone before, and there are others who will come after.  I'm thankful to know others on the journey who understand these crazy emotions!

And you know what?  I'm thankful that I have a pup to be the recipient of all my bursting motherly love right now.  I don't think she minds it one bit ;)

Q Party

work Christmas party with the hubs :)

(and then we came home via sloppy roads and a snow-filled driveway that had to be cleared.  what is it with dressy into-the-late-night work events and massive amounts of snow?)

Dickens Christmas

Col took me on a surprise birthday day trip to Skaneateles for their annual Dickens Christmas!  It was cold, but we had fun wandering around, enjoying the Dickens' characters walking and caroling in the streets, browsing in shops, and eating.  Thanks for a fun birthday adventure, Col!

on the horse drawn wagon

it's Christmas tree time!

It seems like a new tradition is starting, because we went in the rain again this year.  Back to where we went last year to get another great "clearance" tree.  The selection was even better this year!

And hubby was a good sport again and cut it down for me!

Thanksgiving 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!  This year we spent the day at my parents' house with my mom's side of the family.  Mendon did a great job staying in the living room while we ate (new training we are teaching her), and we had a great time catching up and eating lots.  We got to facetime with Zack which was also fun and amusing as always!  He and Kristyn were making their own Thanksgiving feast.  The big difference?  It was barely 30 here while their temperatures were in the 70's.  They were thinking of going to the beach!  That evening we went to my grandma's and relaxed with my dad's side of the family.

Friday I slept almost 12 hours (a huge rarity for me), and we went out in search of a new dishwasher (ours has been dead for many months).  We only had to visit a few places and found a great deal on a better model than we would normally get.  It included delivery, installation, take-away of old dishwasher, and no tax!  I was so excited when we left the store.  Guess I'm a real grown-up now since I am excited about a new dishwasher!  We spent the evening with Col's family and had our own Thanksgiving celebration, eating more good food and enjoying each others' company.

Even though Thanksgiving was much different than we anticipated it being and we weren't enjoying a newborn, we still had a great time.  This year, I am thankful for the love and unending support of our families and friends.  I am thankful for my husband, who keeps me strong and enjoying life.  I am thankful for the beautiful house we bought and our cute, lovable dog we adopted, both this year.  As always, we are blessed.

baby showers : part 2

Family Shower 11.3.13

baby showers : part 1

Community Group Shower 10.5.13

Work Shower 10.15.13 

(I missed the boat on taking a decent amount of pictures)

savoring the little things

A few days ago, I had a moment of gratitude for our little life.  You know when you are doing something so simple, yet feel overwhelmingly blessed and content where you are?  It was like that.

Over the last few weeks we have enjoyed a lot.  One Friday we had a 24-hour movie marathon with our friends Rachel and Brenton where we kicked off with a late dinner at Moe's (our first time!), and then stayed up until 4am eating ice cream, candy, and popcorn while watching Thor, The Hulk, and Captain America.  When we got up the next morning, we commenced with pancakes and Iron Man.  Later that evening, after a quick trip to the vet with Mendon, we finished off with The Avengers.

On Sunday of that weekend I was able to meet my parents at the mall and enjoy an extremely entertaining shopping trip with them.  My dad had to get some new clothes, and I had a blast laughing and being goofy with them.  Later that day I hung out with Teenie and Jeremiah, where we talked and played and I had fun getting carrots spit up on me a few times ;) One night after work, I was able to meet Rach for coffee and have a great conversation with her about our adoption and catch up on life and her new puppy.  We went to my parents' house one Saturday night and celebrated my Grandma Saile's birthday with my dad's family.  I had a phone catch-up with Deanna and cherished the fact that even though we had to call each other back a few times during our conversation, we can always pick up right where we leave off.

I even finally started my promotion at work, the one offered me in July.  I have one week under my belt, a small corner desk with a window to look out of, and quiet to think and work.  I have a lot to learn, but so far I'm happy where I am and excited to keep accomplishing.

Col and I have taken a ton of walks with Mendon, many during the cold fall air, all bundled up.  We have traveled new routes and walked long distances (the other day we took a 2 hour walk).  One night, we even walked to our polling place to cast our vote for a local election.  It was that night that I felt content, something that is hard for me sometimes because I get caught up in making plans, lists, and timelines.  We have relaxed at home, watched football and lots of Friends episodes, spent time with family and friends, eaten like crap and enjoyed too many desserts.  After the heartache that we have felt (and the hard days I still have), it has been refreshing to just enjoy the little things.  To really be in the moment for once.  And no matter what happens, we still need to enjoy our lives as they are, right then.

[learning to] move forward

A couple weeks ago we took some time to update our nursery picture in our adoption profile and mailed our profiles back out to the agency.  Especially now, after being so close, we know we are ready to have a baby and want to keep moving forward.  I still think about that sweet little girl that we were so close to meeting, but I know that she is safe with her mom.  Will I ever forget her?  No.  But I do know that she is ok; we are ok.  And I know that God knows why, for whatever reason, she wasn't meant to be our daughter.  If nothing else, we have learned that our hearts have the capacity to continue to love and hope.

When we sent everything back in, I realized I'm kind of bummed to be back in the profiling process.  Even though we only did it for a couple of months, I didn't realize how draining it was.  It was so relieving to be matched and into the next step, where we didn't have to be glued to our phones waiting for calls.  Only after, now that we are back in the pool, I have to once again get used to having my phone with me at all times, anticipating each call, taking in a lot of information, and deciding whether to be profiled or not.  And I do wonder what it will be like getting that first profiling call again.  Will we have the same excitement, or will we be more wary throughout the process this time?

And so, while we are prepared to wait again, I am trying to once again savor and enjoy the time that we have together as a married couple.  To give up my timeline and thoughts of what life would be like right now and instead embrace the fact that it will change soon enough.  Looking at our beautiful nursery, all of our cute baby gear, I can't wait to use it.  I can't wait for the day when Little L is placed in our arms forever.  When I can sneak in and watch him or her sleeping.  I just can't wait.

That's where we are at.  Moving forward in hope, with faith.  Please pray for us as we continue on!  

Halloween 2013

Col carved the Hulk, while I went traditional with my pumpkin this year .

We were excited to receive trick-or-treaters this year as the first Halloween in our house, but it turned out to be kind of depressing as we got about 12 kids - most of them older (who we told to just take a handful of candy).  Bonus?  We had candy to eat ourselves!  We also got to watch Charlie Brown's The Great Pumpkin.

Col dressed as an old-timey villain, while I pulled off a last minute bank robber costume.  Mendon was Super Doggy, there to save the world from us!  We took a walk through our neighborhood all dressed up (and found all the trick-or-treaters.  Our street is lame.)

Super Doggy all tired out from saving the world!

[adoption] not for the faint of heart

There is a common phrase often repeated in the adoption community: Adoption is not for the faint of heart.  While I have heard it often, I never fully grasped it's significance because up until recently, our adoption process has been fairly easy.  The paperwork was less than I thought, and we were able to systematically work through it along with the countless appointments and classes (which we loved).  Our wait was also extremely short, as over the course of less than 2 months we had four referrals and were chosen by a birthmom.

Everything was falling into place.  So many factors about our match seemed too perfect to be anything other than God's doing.  However, even in the midst of our most joyous excitement, we are sometimes too short-sighted to see that we are still on the journey.  We haven't reached our destination yet.

Wednesday evening (10/16), I arrived home to find Col out front with Mendon.  I asked if he had called our agency to see if they had an update about birthmom's c-section date.  She had had a doctor's appointment the Friday before to check the baby's lung development and so we were waiting to hear what date they would choose from the results.  When Col called they hadn't heard anything yet, but her appointment with the doctor had been that afternoon.  Our family advocate said she would call as soon as she got any updates.  About 10 minutes before I got home, she had called Col back.

He excitedly told me that the c-section was scheduled for the next day (Thursday, 10/17).  I honestly and seriously did not believe him.  Here he was, jumping up and down, grinning widely, and exclaiming aloud that we almost had a baby.  It finally sunk in enough that we were both happily hugging and heard a voice from over the bushes from a neighbor say, "Whatever it is, congratulations!"  I couldn't believe it!  It was a few weeks earlier than we thought, but we were overjoyed.

We called our parents to deliver the news.  Then we called our bosses quickly since we would be out on leave immediately.  I had only trained my replacement for a week and a half but thankfully am blessed with amazing supervisors who were just as excited as we were.  The plan was to drive to Buffalo in the morning, sign all the paperwork, and afterwards head out to the hospital in Syracuse to be with and care for the baby.

That night we ran around trying to figure out what we needed to do.  We packed a few days worth of things, packed a diaper bag, installed the car seat, and packed up Mendon's things so that she could go to my in-laws.  I did my first load of baby laundry and attempted to organize a few things in the nursery.  All evening I had a slight pain in my chest, as I attempted to get my planner-self on board with this new, very soon due date!  We actually were able to sleep that night, although I woke a few times.

Thursday morning we went to the bank as soon as they opened.  We got a certified check for our placement fee, and the teller asked us if we were getting a baby.  We told her that yes, we were going there today to meet him or her.  It was all so surreal and yet seemed so normal.  We drove to Buffalo and soon after sitting down with our advocate learned that the baby had been born at 10:04a.  It was a girl!  She had just enough time before we got there (around 10:30a) to change all the paperwork to have our chosen girl name on it.  We also learned that we would not be able to go to Syracuse until the next day, as the hospital policy needed a signed paper by birthmom allowing us to be there caring for the baby.  Since the birth had been via c-section, they needed to wait until the next day so that all anesthesia was out of her system.  We were disappointed, but overjoyed that she had been born.  

We signed all of the paperwork, received a wonderful gift bag, a hug from our advocate, and drove back home.  It was a little anti-climactic since we were expecting to drive out that day, but nonetheless allowed us to get a lot done that evening.  We organized the nursery, did more laundry, packed a few more things as discharge was scheduled for Monday, told more family and friends, made plans to stay with friends in the area for the weekend, set up a pediatrician appointment, called our lawyer, and figured out health insurance.  We also had a celebratory dinner out with Col's parents, sister, bro-in-law, and our nieces, and bought a gift for birthmom.  Once again, we somehow slept well that night.

Soon after waking up Friday morning we got a call from the agency.  We were waiting to hear what time we could go out to the hospital, and I got out of bed to go listen as Col took the call in the kitchen.  When I came out, he shook his head at me.  After he hung up he said that birthmom was thinking about parenting.  She was working through things with her social worker, but in the agency's professional opinion, it seemed as though she would choose to parent the baby.  They would call us later that day to update us.  I immediately got upset and we tearfully sent texts to our parents to pray.  After a while, we decided that we couldn't sit around all day and wait, and so we escaped to Mendon Ponds park with Mendon in tow.  Near the end of our walk, the agency called again and confirmed that birthmom had decided to parent.

I felt like everything was over, like our whole process was coming to an abrupt end.  Financially everything we had, along with many others' generous donations, had gone into this.  We had never gotten to meet that sweet baby girl who almost had our name.  In no way able to talk, we sent texts to our parents and siblings to break the news.  Once home, Col made a few difficult phone calls cancelling our first pediatrician appointment for Tuesday, notifying our attorney, and then calling the agency again to hear about next steps.  All the calls, emails, and texts we had made just the day before were now sent out again, but with opposite news.

My parents came up that night and took us to dinner.  I was in a fog all day; I felt like my head was disconnected from my body and my vision was off.  Once again it was surreal.  I just couldn't fathom how we were in the 1%.  We had been told that at our agency, only about 1% of matches are disrupted due to the comprehensive counseling and resources offered to birthparents.  How, after everything we had been through to get us to this point, could we be that 1%?  I reminded myself though that many of the families pursuing adoption have also been through infertility, so this would be a double blow to anyone, not just us.  We vowed to continue to live our lives, to keep busy, and to remember that it is not over.  We are not done.

Saturday I had a hard time getting out of bed, but I did and we conquered things on our perpetual to-do list.  Col went and got the new tires for my car that it desperately needed and then we completely hauled out the two storage closets in our lower level, getting rid of a ton and re-organizing.  We received sympathies and greatly appreciated the support system that we have in all of our family, friends, and workplaces, but with nothing to say, we tucked them away in our hearts and kept on working.  We spoiled Mendon with walks and lots of love and spoiled ourselves by not cooking all weekend.  We watched Friends, went to bed early, and slept a lot.

Sunday we went to church, took a two hour walk along the river trail with Col's fam and Mendon, and spent the day watching football with family and a visit from friends.  Each day brought about more perspective, and we were able to talk about our next steps.  Thankfully, our agency is compassionate and understanding and has been supportive in whatever way we need.  Most of our fees will be returned/used toward our next match/placement.  Colin has been extremely loving and supportive, and our marriage is strengthened.  No matter how much we've been through, each new hardship or experience brings us closer and closer.  While we cope differently and grieve at different speeds, we were on the same page for so much of this.  And since I'm the one who takes longer to work through things, he has graciously shown me support for whenever I am ready to continue and begin to be profiled once more.

I would be lying if I said that I was not still sad.  While it is absolutely 100% birthmom's right to parent her child, it is still extremely heartbreaking for us.  However, we never had nor have any anger toward her.  I still see her as the sweet, shy person we met just a few weeks ago.  And while so many details of our match seemed so perfect, this child was not God's plan for our family.  But this part of the story is somehow.  And so, I still stand true to my word to tell our story, for if we can get through it, someone else has already and someone else will.  God has held us up, given us hope, and sees the outcome.  And while my heart may be faint at times, His never is! 

[via pinterest]

6th puzzle update!

It's coming together!

Special thanks to:

Holly and Bryan

Rachel and Brenton

Larry

5th puzzle update!

Special thanks to:
Josh and Heather

Courtney

Andrea

Suz

Brown's Berry Patch

We've made it an almost annual tradition to head out to Brown's Berry Patch each fall.  This year we enjoyed pumpkin picking, free samples, lunch, donuts, ice cream (yeah we love food), and fun in the sun.  We even picked up a little mini pumpkin for Little L :)

meeting birthmom

Today we met birthmom.  I don't think I'll ever forget today, and I pray I don't so that I can tell the story over and over to Little L.  Although I will keep some details to myself to cherish, I'd love to write some about it for everyone.

We met in Syracuse, and so we left early enough to make sure that we would get there on time.  Our ride there we didn't talk a lot, but would have bursts of conversation and then sit silent for a while, lost in our thoughts and nervousness.  We arrived almost a half an hour early, and walked hand-in-hand into the cafe area while looking around.  Everyone we were meeting knew what we looked like because they had seen our profile, but we had no idea who we were looking for.  We sat down and determined that we were there first, and so we watched the front door anxiously.  Around 11a, our meeting time, the birthparent social worker walked in and introduced herself.  We chatted with her a bit until she received a call from birthmom's health worker saying that they had to go to a last minute doctor's appointment and wouldn't be there until noon.  Our nerves actually settled during that time, and I felt more prepared when they came. 

How do you describe what it's like meeting the brave, amazing woman who is carrying the child that she chooses to place with you?  There really aren't words.  She was beautiful inside and out and so sweet.  Col put it well when he said that it was like being starstruck; you are so happy to be there with that person but you can't think of what to say.  I did use some of my Spanish and found I could understand her, but I was also glad that the health worker was there to translate as well.  The three of us were nervous and quiet, but it wasn't an uncomfortable conversation.  Meeting birthmom, we were instructed to focus on getting to know her and not on the baby, and I found that it was not at all hard for me to do so.  I am so, so grateful that she wanted to meet with us.  While we only spent an hour together, I know that the time was precious to all of us.  I think that if everyone [not just adoptive parents, but families and friends] were able to meet birthparents, they would better understand how it's harder to not want to continue an open relationship with them than to have one.

After our meeting, Col and I grabbed lunch before driving back home.  I felt that after leaving, I craved for more time together and wished that we were more outgoing when meeting new people.  However, we were reassured by the social worker that the meeting had gone well.  As we neared home, I realized just how tired I was.  I had not planned for it, but the numerous emotions of the day were overwhelming and exhausting.  Such nervousness, joy, happiness, awestruck-ness, respect, love, sadness, and empathy. 

There was so much mutual respect and love; Little L is blessed.  We have a huge responsibility, and I intend to do my best to give him or her a good education and respect for us as parents, per birthmom's request.  How can we do anything less for the woman who told us that she liked "todo" [everything] about our profile?

long overdue updates

I started to write this on Monday 9/16, and then it sat here in my drafts.  I'm sorry for the delay, but life has been a little crazy lately!  I also apologize for not having anything profound to say at the moment.  More [important] updates to come soon, but for now, some minor happenings:
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Saturday mornings we have been going to obedience classes with Mendon.  She is a very well-behaved dog, but we are working on her focus and recall when she comes across other dogs on walks (especially yipper ones who bark at her rudely).  It's been fun; we have a small class and it's held where Col works.

The neighborhood boys hate us.  Or in some weird elementary-school-boy way love us enough to torture us.  Col said he'll write about the experiences we've had lately, so I'll leave you with that.

We had a new woman move in next door to us, and another down the street.  We were hoping for some young families on our block, but since they aren't, I'll settle for the fact that they will be quiet neighbors.

We started to register for Little L over the weekend.  My sister-in-law went with us, and we had a fun time.  Before we got out of the car, I asked her if she was ready for this, because once before when Col and I went in the store to look at crib sets, I got a lot of obvious and confused belly glances.  However, we were blessed with a man for our registry rep AND I was extremely surprised and pleased to see that on the registration sheet there was a box to check if we were adopting!  Seriously made my day.  I gratefully exclaimed thanks, and other than a few looks which I barely noticed, we had a fun time registering :)

Community Group through church started up again, and we are with a different group that previously.  It was extremely hard to part ways with some of the couples that we have been with for years, but we have been having a great time getting to know lots of new people.  Our new group is already quite large, but we've already started to form some new friendships, all while applying sermons to our lives and praying together.

We had a fire drill at church a few weeks ago.  I was volunteering in the bookstore that morning, but my shift was cut short as we all had to exit the building at the beginning of the sermon.  Unfortunately we were never able to go back in for that service, but thankfully there wasn't a fire.  Check out our church's blog for more details.

Mom and dad came up for a Sunday afternoon of football, shopping, and pizza.  It was so nice to be able to have an impromptu day together now that they live closer.  Dad and Col watched football while mom and I went shopping, then we reconvened for dinner.  It was a relaxing time catching up, and they were happy to only have to drive about an hour back to Grandpa's house (where they are staying right now) instead of over 2 hours.

I enjoyed some country time visiting my friend's house. She has done an awesome job re-doing the place, and it was great to see the progress. Reminded me of my love of wide open spaces and old farmhouses.

We celebrated our oldest niece's 4th birthday.  I hate how fast time flies by as we get older!  I can't believe that she is already 4 years old!  Happy birthday, sweet, sassy, outgoing girl!

We braved the drive-in with our friends one more time despite the cool fall temperatures.  We all sat outside bundled up head to toe for the first movie, but due to a difficult time hearing it and freezing our toes off, we sat in the car for the second.  It was a great trip out there, and I'm so glad we got to go again and spend time with them.

Col and I also took advantage of the super warm weather this weekend and went mini-golfing with a Groupon that was about to expire.  We hadn't played the course in a long time, and the place has changed a lot (for the better) since Col worked there.  We had a great time, and it was nice to slow down and have a little date together.  Sidenote: we recently hit our old dating anniversary.  We've officially been together for 6 years :)

Lastly, the Amazing Race started back up!  Sometimes it's hard to tell from the first episode, but do you have a favorite team?  I'm still deciding, no one's jumped out at me yet. 

That should keep the blog from dying for now.  Stay tuned for some much more interesting material soon! :)

4th puzzle update!

Special thanks to:
Dawn and Jim

Whitney and Spencer

Mom and Dad

Kristen and Andy

Keegan

our whirlwind week

It was Monday (9/16).  Just your ordinary crazy-busy Monday.  Col called, and I thought maybe we were being profiled again, which was exciting in and of itself.  We never called each other at work until we became a waiting family.  So I knew that it had something to do with our adoption.

I ran upstairs with my phone, and Col asked if I was ready for a whirlwind...well, who isn't (or is, depending on how you look at it)?  He said that we were chosen by the birthmom from our latest profiling call!  We had just heard about this case on Friday (9/13), and here it was, 3 days later, and she had already chosen us.  Not only that, but a few important details had changed.  But the real kicker was this: she was on her way to the hospital because she might be in labor!  My oh my, how the body and mind kick into gear when needed! 

We rejoiced in being chosen so quickly and decided to accept.  Then we got to work gathering information about what being 32 weeks preemie would mean for baby.  And we tentatively planned dates with the agency to sign paperwork and go out to Syracuse to meet birthmom when she was released from the hospital if she gave birth this week. 

Monday evening we told our parents and siblings, tried to breathe, and attempted to figure out what we needed to do right away.  I kept saying how there was so much we needed to do, but Col kept me sane by reminding me that we "also need to eat."  Tuesday morning we waited for an update and received word that it was just false labor and she had already been discharged.  Phew!  All day Tuesday I was giddy and excited, as I was able to really take in the fact that we had been chosen by a birthmom.  It had all sunk in since our timeline for baby being on the scene went back to the original November due date.  We continued to spread the news to our families and close friends.  All week I felt like I had a million phone calls to make and couldn't help but share the news. 

Each day brought about new information from the agency.  Tuesday (9/17) we had our "match call" where we went over all of the medical/background information and the fees again so that we had everything once more.  We also discussed dates to meet birthmom, as she wants to do so before she gives birth.

On Thursday (9/19), our whirlwind week continued as our family advocate called once more with additional information.  When Col called I was nervous, but when he told me, we both just laughed.  We had been told the gender of the baby but were keeping it on the down-low.  However, after birthmom's visit in the hospital, they weren't sure anymore!  Col told me by saying that our [insert one of our name choices here] might be a [insert other gender name choice here].  It was relieving to hear that this was the only update and that everyone was healthy. 

Everything has happened so fast.  I feel like this all happened so long ago, and yet it was one week ago when we received that exciting and information-overloaded call.  We already have a meeting set up with birthmom, and while I'm really nervous, I'm also so excited to meet her.  And bonus: I get to brush up on my Spanish so that I can speak with her :) How funny that God knew I would use my Spanish degree someday, even after all my hedging about it.  Pieces just seem to be falling into place, and we are so excited about this next step in our adoption journey!!

baby news!

We have been chosen by a birthmom!

Baby's due date is Nov. 13th!

3rd puzzle update!

The border (and more) is complete!

Special thanks to:

Nells and Scottie

Elyse and Dave

Peter and Karen

Jackie

Laurie

Denise

Linda

we need your help!!

Family, friends, readers, strangers!  We need your help!  We have hit a brick wall with our puzzle fundraiser.  Unfortunately, we still haven't even finished the border and have a ways to go!  We've been reminded lately of just how quickly things can change and how fast we would need to be ready with payments in hand to pick up Little L. 

For those of you who have already donated : THANK YOU SO MUCH!

For those of you who are thinking about it : why wait?

For those of you who are unable to at this time : please pray for us that we will be able to continue saving on our own and for continued faith that the Lord will provide...we know He will!

Please check out my original post for details on our puzzle fundraiser.

I would love to someday be able to show Little L all the names of the wonderful people who brought him or her home.  Would you like to be one of those names?  Let us know!  THANK YOU! :)

part 2 : supporting adoptive families

Posting Part 2 of one of my favorite blog posts ever.  I posted Part 1 back here, but wanted to do the next installment as we are now waiting.

Millions of Miles: Supporting Adoptive Families

2. Once families are in process:

•Check in with the adoptive family's (from here on out called A.F.) emotions! Adoption can be a very emotional process. There are days where you are in the dumps and days when you want to celebrate. Give the A.F. the space to talk about their feelings and their frustrations. When they call super excited and say, "I got my I-171h", pretend like you know what they are talking about and jump up and down and throw a party.

• Throw a baby shower just as if the A.F. was pregnant. Make a big stinkin' deal over the mom to be. Obviously, don't play the how big is your belly game. But do everything else the same!

•Support A.F. fundraisers. They need your help! Better yet- host a fundraising dinner, pancake breakfast, auction, raffle, etc. to help the family raise the money to bring their child home.

•If there are other children already in the A.F. offer to babysit them leading up to traveling so that mom and dad get a few last dates in before the new addition.

•If the adoption is international, educate yourself about the child's birth country.

•If the adopted child will be of a different race, educate yourself about transracial families by reading articles, books, etc. Just googling transracial families will bring up a wealth of information. Also (and no one should do this anyway!) do NOT make derogatory comments about the child's race, birth country, or culture.

•Offer to keep siblings, pets and housesit for the A.F. when they are traveling.

See the whole post here.

annual weekend getaway

This past weekend we had our 7th (WOW!) annual weekend getaway to Katie's family's cottage.  We keep growing each year, and this year was Katie and Aaron's newlywed summer, Mendon joined Buddy as dog guests, and Jeremiah joined us for the first time (well...he was there last year, secretively ;)).

 

 

We attempted for two days to get Mendon to swim, but she wasn't having it.  She did enjoy playing in the water, as long as she could still stand.  We could tell she wanted to get in so badly, and at one point she fell in off the dock due to her own curiosity.  We learned that she can swim, but she immediately booked it to shore.  At least she likes to play in the water.  That's what we get for having a mastiff I guess :)
 



We had a blast, like always :) Even though it rained some of the time, we had a great time playing games and catching up.  We ended the nights with bonfires, swam in the lake, and went to the annual dinner spot, Ye Olde Pizza Pub!

[Col & I, John, Christine & Jeremiah, Aaron & Katie]





We talked about how it will be fun to see our annual pictures as we continue to expand.  We also said it would be funny in 20 years from now to see how we look (and it was crazy to think that we'd then possibly have some kids in college!).  Thanks again for sharing your cottage, Katie!

 

[past post with past years' pictures]